Saturday, December 20, 2014

Jim Haslett analyzes the options and blows a snot rocket

Law school takes up a lot of time, you guys. Sorry. I got a bunch of posts I need to catch up on during the winter break, so relax twerps.

For now here's a Washington R*******s coach Jim Haslett blow a nice snot rocket.

I will say in his defense. It's Winter. It's fucking cold and your nose runs a lot. Let's look over the options he has:

Wipe it on his hand- This is EXACTLY how you spread germs, it's, like, the number one way, dummies. He has his hands all over his men all night -I'm not taking that back- and leaving snot residual there makes him a walking germ bomb.

Wipe it on his jacket: I have never found a jacket comfortable to wipe my nose on. I don't care how plush of a jacket it is, there is something about jackets that make them inherently uncomfortable with the wipe. They will do in a pinch, but I don't want to be scraping the inside of my nose with that friction. It's just not going to happen.

Get a tissue: Huh?

The only option here is the snot rocket. He's outside, there's lots of grass to absorb the rocket and he has the presence of mind to move his mic out of the trajectory. This is why Football coaches earn the big bucks. They have to be aware of so many variables at once, anticipate and react accordingly. Jim Haslett clearly ran through his options and checked down to the snot rocket. If only he coached as effectively as he cleared his nose, the R*******s might be a better football team.

Thank you Deadspin for the capture