Saturday, January 4, 2014

Mettenberger you sly bastard you

Thank you Bleacher Report for finding this one. Zach Mettenbeger sat out the Outback Bowl. You'd think he would be safe away from the camera's focus. But that was a foolish assumption, Zach. You took the precautions needed to try to get away with it too. A tentative "Did he pick his nose?" nosepick. Followed that up with a beard adjustment, to throw people off of the scent. He then went in for the finger food. I'm not one to judge people for their hygienic practices, that's for society to determine what's right or wrong. I'm just saying Mettenberger was too hesitant in his actions. Either stand tall and proud and do it, or be more discrete about it. When you're hesitant trying to hide in plain view, we can tell. The long pauses between each movement only tells us you want to do this and are ashamed about it. Each movement was calculated in the hopes that people wouldn't notice. We noticed, Mettenberger. We noticed. 

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