Saturday, January 4, 2014

Mettenberger you sly bastard you

Thank you Bleacher Report for finding this one. Zach Mettenbeger sat out the Outback Bowl. You'd think he would be safe away from the camera's focus. But that was a foolish assumption, Zach. You took the precautions needed to try to get away with it too. A tentative "Did he pick his nose?" nosepick. Followed that up with a beard adjustment, to throw people off of the scent. He then went in for the finger food. I'm not one to judge people for their hygienic practices, that's for society to determine what's right or wrong. I'm just saying Mettenberger was too hesitant in his actions. Either stand tall and proud and do it, or be more discrete about it. When you're hesitant trying to hide in plain view, we can tell. The long pauses between each movement only tells us you want to do this and are ashamed about it. Each movement was calculated in the hopes that people wouldn't notice. We noticed, Mettenberger. We noticed. 

Ryan Tannehill needs to learn the art of finesse

Hello guys and girls. I know it has been a long time but shhh don't ruin the moment, please. I'm just glad to be back with you guys. Let's cherish the moments we have with each other.

On to the nosepick. Ryan Tannehill. Caught picking his nose. I know I am normally an advocate of picking your nose in most athletic situations, but you're down by a touchdown man! You're playing for a playoff spot! Get your shit together Tannehill. I will give you credit for the aggressive nosepick, but sometimes you need finesse too. This is the nosepick equivalent of forcing a throw. No sense of touch or grace, just jamming it in and hoping for the best. I know you're young with lots of potential Tannehill, I just really hope you develop as a player and nosepicker this offseason. 

Thank you Soo-Young for the picture