Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Kevin Love with the fundamentally sound nosepick

Kevin Love: winner in the latest NBA GM poll asking "Which player makes the most of limited natural ability?" Simply being 6'10" and strong as hell doesn't get your far in the NBA these days. That's why Kevin Love's fundamentally sound technique and grit and high basketball IQ allows him to do so much despite the good lord giving him so little. This goes for nosepicks as well. LeBron can be all flash with his nosepicks. Kevin Love doesn't take chances with athletic one-fingered nosepicks. He just wants to get the job done: maintain a seated position, clamp down and make sure to simply complete the pick. No room for flair in his nosepicks, this poor man blessed with so little athletic ability, but he has the form and the scrappiness to pick his nose just like the other pros. What a nice young man.

Monday, June 24, 2013

David Beckham looking dreamy when others look ugly

David Beckham always seems to pull of what others can't. I'm anti-fauxhawk. Beckham pulls it off. I am anti-underarmor tanktops. Backham makes it look sexy. Even picking his nose, a practice generally looked down upon by society, Beckham looks like he's posing for a GQ magazine shoot. What is the secret? How can achieve this level? It's not fair, he gets so much while people like me get so little. I pick my nose I get mocked. He picks his nose and all I want to do is tell him how handsome he is. I look dirty, he makes it look rugged. Oh Becks... Teach me please...

(Thank you Ian King for the link and smosh.com for the picture)

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Tito Vilanova kindly requests you athletes step your nosepick game up

I understand posts have been few and far between lately, but the last few have been phenomenal and I'm really just letting each post sink in before the game gets changed. Again. Tito Vilanova, FC Barcelona's head coach wasn't really coaching when they got spanked by Bayern Munich the other day. I can't blame him, though, when he was busy innovating in the nosepick field. I've seen pointer-finger-picks. I've seen clamps. I've seen pointer-finger-picks THEN clamps. But never have I seen pointer-finger-picks and clamps AT THE SAME GODDAMNEDTIME. SHIT JUST GOT REALER. The amount of dexterity needed from both hands is immense. You can tell this is a coach's nosepick. Athletes rely on instincts, coaches need to plan, innovate, and analyze the game. Tito has clearly sat back seeing some great soccer nosepicks, analyzing the pros and cons of each. The strengths and weaknesses of each style and came to a strategy that flips nosepicks on its head. Two techniques at once. This is Tony Hawk's first 900. This is Dr. J's up-and-under layup. This is Willie Mays's over the shoulder catch. This is beautiful.

Source Credit: Atticus Tamman

Wednesday, March 20, 2013


This. This man. If anyone has information on who this is I would love to talk to him. This is the motherfucking man. All I can say. THIS FUCKING MAN. FUCK this is great.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

LeBron picking his nose during his DUNK over Jason Terry

NMAtv, the geniuses behind the animation recapping NBA news, released evidence of this LeBron nosepick last night that I seemed to miss. I watched the game and apparently this happened during the posterization of Jason Terry. I watched the replay a hundred times and I never caught on to this glory. NMAtv is clearly sharper than me. They managed to capture this LeBron nosepick middunk. LeBron has been playing out of his mind this year, clearly establishing himself as the best player in the NBA. Not content to just win a Gold Medal, NBA Championship, MVP, Finals MVP, and the second longest winning streak ever, LeBron decided to establish himself as the best nosepicker in the NBA. Solid form, classic pointer finger, head held high beaming with pride, but most importantly he is doing this MIDDUNK. The level of athleticism needed to pull this off is inhuman. Step aside mere mortals. The man is a tank and wants every accolade out there. There is no stopping him. Get out of his way, LITTLE BOYS.

 The source video:

Monday, March 4, 2013

Twitter comes through in the clutch

Finally we get to see a little rivalry with the nosepicks. A Wildcat fan (@broadfootk) posted this picture to twitter pointing out that nosepicking is universal and crosses rivalry lines. After the epic Henriquez nosepick, Bill Self decided to get in on the action. He gets credit for the facial contortions needed to accomplish this relatively simple nosepick. He applied the pointer finger, but in a slightly unique twist with the semi swipe. In this rivalry though, I must side with Kansas State, in a decision that really wasn't too difficult considering how blown away I was by Henriquez's pick. Either way, it's clear college basketball is amping up for March Madness, put on your seatbelts guys and gals.

P.S. Here's a bonus Bill Self nosepick video, sneaking one in during the tournament last year. Although in this one I can't look away from how fucking big his watch is.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Jordan Henriquez doesn't fuck around.

THIS IS WHAT THE FUCK I'M TALKING ABOUT. At this point in the game, I feel like I've seen it all when it comes to athletes and their nosepicking. I've seen all sorts of techniques and situations, and frankly a feeling that maybe the best has already been accomplished has been sweeping over me. Then a nosepick like this happens. This is what college basketball is all about. There is a fire in the belly of Jordan Henriquez. The passion for the game of basketball and nosepicking is evident on his face. Never have I been so terrified by a nosepicker. This man is picking his nose. AND WHAT. Fuck with him. Try it. I would never want to get in the way of this man and his boogers. The result could be fatal. God Bless your nightmare inducing nosepick. This truly is glorious. The camera can't focus on anything other than this monstrous nosepick. Classic pointer finger technique coupled with a glare that could move mountains and part seas. Sneering as if it to say I pick my nose and there is nothing you can do about it. You can't stoooop me. This nosepick makes me root for the villains in movies. This nosepick makes me want to fight someone, steal shit and set something on fire. It makes up for the weak "I'm just wiping sweat off my face, but really I'm picking my nose" technique employed by his teammate in the foreground.

With that said, Enjoy the nosepick lads and lassies, another one like this may be a long time coming. 

Thanks to Tyler Nilson for the picture

Thursday, February 14, 2013

R.A. Dickey: Knuckleballer that goes knuckle deep

Knuckleballers are a unique brand of pitchers. They are a rare sight these days and aren't your typical baseball players. It only makes sense that the nosepick would be indicative of that. Pointer finger is played out, it's all about the pinky, SON. Keep up.

Exellent planning on Dickey's part, using his non-pitching hand. The potential for injury was a risk Dickey was not willing to take, especially since he was having a magical, Cy-Young-award-winning season. He really got in there too. Dickey must have known that since his pinky is his smallest finger, it had the potential for a deeper pick. This type of forward thinking is what separates the All-Stars from the role players.

Good luck north of the border, R.A, you rugged man, you. I heard there are some dry spells in Toronto during the winter. Primo weather for nosepicking. My anticipation for your nosepicking performance next year is high. Don't let me down.

Bosh Boshing LeBron

Long time coming, guys and gals. Law school is distracting me from my true love, this site. Please accept this fake nosepick photobomb (videobomb?) by Bosh as repentance. While I appreciate the intent, I would have appreciated the full commitment by Bosh more. You're a champion now! Act like it! Pick your nose for real next time. I want to give you respect, Bosh. I'm trying, I really am. This is a small step forward, but I see the potential for leaps and bounds. Form is great, timing is great, execution is flawed. No points for lipsynching your nosepick. Either way, enjoy folks. I will try to get a couple more in the upcoming week.

Happy Valentine's day, ya'll. This is my V-day gift to my loves, the fans:
Source: I don't know, the internet? I've been sitting on this one for a while.