Thursday, September 29, 2011

Michael Bourn and the redemption of the 2011 Braves' season

While last night was both crushing (see the Braves) and exhilarating (see the Rays), my mood was mostly dour due to the Braves completely choking away the season in which they showed so much potential. At one point when it was looking like the Braves were going down, Bourn was on base and cheered me up if only for a brief moment with this nosepick. There is less facial contortion than typical of a nosepick of this style, but that is just a testament to his athletic ability. With how fast he is too, I'm lucky to have caught this in time. So now the Braves say goodbye to the 2011 season disappointingly, but they can always cling to that special moment when the season was on the line and Bourn still found time to pick his nose. One Shining Moment.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Kerry Collins meditating on why the he came out of retirement

You gotta feel sorry for Kerry Collins. He comes out of retirement to play for the sorry Colts, he grows the old man beard out a la Brett Favre minus the cockpics, and then gets a concussion the third game in (err he's being evaluated for one). So in this pick we see him staring intently at the ground wondering how he came to this sad, sad point. It was tragic to see a man fall so deep in the hole when all he wants is to escape. Stay strong Kerry, retirement will come soon enough, and the years of playing football will have softened your brain up enough that these painful memories will be forgotten.

The video is below, watch the tragedy in all its slow-motion, depressing, whygodhaveyouforsaken glory

Monday, September 19, 2011

Mayweather may have knocked him out, but Victor Ortiz gets the feature

I'd like to first say ignore the fact that this was clearly clipped from a youtube uploading of the fight. I am fully committed to catching as many nosepicks as possible, but I am not shilling out $70 for payperview when I know it will be on youtube 2 seconds after each round. In regards to the actual fight though, this was a gloriously World Wrestling Federation ending with Ortiz headbutting, kissing, attempting to hug, and getting knocked the fuck out by Mayweather. The fight even included an interviewer talking to shit to the fighter, while the fighter gets indignant. It was wonderfully scripted all of it. Now I'm no boxing analyst, but if the ref says keep fighting, that would not be the best time to go for another hug. I did thoroughly enjoy the "oh hell no" look Mayweather gave after the headbutt. Ortiz should have known his non-concussed days were numbered.

On to the more important nosepick, however. Ortiz took time away from flashing a hang loose sign and grinning like he didn't just get his face caved in by a pissed Mayweather to do a quick nosepick with the clamp technique. It was brief, unimpressive, but provided me with an important reminder. Ortiz may have had to pick his nose the whole fight and without someone's assistance, he would have had to deal with it. Like a NASCAR driver with his gloves, the boxer does not have much opportunity to pick his nose, so this rare nosepick was a welcome addition to the collection.