Thursday, January 27, 2011

An APTN Investigation: Did Mark Sanchez actually wipe anything on Mark Brunell?

In my haste to get the post up and the excitement of witnessing an athlete not only picking his nose, but also wiping it on someone, I failed to really give a deeper analysis of the events. I simply assumed that Sanchize wiped his boogers on Brunell with admittedly weak video evidence in terms of resolution.

Courtesy of the Michael Kay Show via http://sportsradiointerviews.com we have this exchange:

Why he decided to wipe a booger on Mark Brunell’s jacket:
“I have been getting so many text messages and phone calls about this.  He is like my big brother and we have such a great relationship and I just feel so bad that it was on TV and I got to know that.  I am on the sidelines but that is the way we are.  We just have fun and joke around and keep things light because that is the way I play my best.  I did not want it to be a disrespectful thing, obviously, and he knew that.  I called him the very next day, ‘I am so sorry.  I feel so bad’ and he said, ‘Oh don’t worry about it.  Only 55 million people saw you fake-wipe a booger on me.’”
If it was a fake-wipe or a legitimate wipe of a booger:
“Oh no!  It was like a fake.  It was like a cold weather, like almost-runny-nose-not-even-a-real-booger.  If it would have been there it would have been a legit booger.  I don’t think I could have done that to him…  It was like it is cold outside and my nose is like not fully running or anything but just like a little mess around more than anything.  It was more of a fake-booger-wipe if anything.  If it would have been a legit booger they probably would not have showed it on TV.  So that was the funny part and he just, just the way he brushed it off.  ‘Oh yeah only 55 million people saw it.’  He was like, ‘You are good.’  I am so sorry.  I mean he is the best.  He is the best in the world and he knows I was just joking.  It is just too bad, and the worst part is, I mean, I know he is going to get me back.  Nobody else is going to be around to see it.  It will be worse I am sure.”

Upon further review of the video it's pretty clear that he didn't get that deep into the nose and it looks like nothing came off of his fingers onto Brunell's jacket. Sanchez claims, between sounding like a valley girl, that there wasn't a booger but implicitly said there was some snot at the very least. Either way there was some sort of nose remnants wiped onto Brunell, and in fact the snot theory may be a little grosser to me, although that is a personal preference more than anything. In the end it was still a monumental event in athletic nose-picking history and energized the internet in ways not even matched by Darron Thomas's phenomenal BCS nose-pick.

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