Saturday, December 25, 2010

King Santa James and APTN present: A nose-picking Christmas!

 Merry Christmas all! In the spirit of the giving season, King Santa James and I are blessing all my fans with 3 nosepicks today. Don't say I never give you guys anything. In this time of spreading joy, even Bill Belichick couldn't help but get into the spirit with a long swipe after Benjarvus Green-Ellis scored a touchdown. As you come to expect with Billy, he does things a bit differently. He runs a tight ship but he lets loose here with a pick unseen on this site so far. He raised his hand and brought it down in an impressive motion. (I will try to put video up shortly) This man, who is dubbed a football genius, clearly has a flair for the dramatic and an innovative approach to nosepicking.

Here we have Tommy Bowden who was the best mediocre coach in the land for years. This pick is not reflective of his coaching style, however. This picture shows a man focused on putting out the best effort possible, which is more than can be said for his teams throughout the years. He goes with the index and gets in there pretty well. It's a shame he resigned two years ago so our seeing another performance like this is benched for a bit until a mediocre team fires their coach and commits to a new coach to lead them to even greater mediocrity.

Enough coaches, we need an athlete, perhaps a superstar athlete, perhaps a superstar athlete doing things like only a superstar athlete would. Enter Tiger Woods, courtesy of the gloryhole of the sports world. We know that Tiger Woods wants to be a billionaire, despite the recent setbacks due to a wife who just doesn't understand his sex addiction. Billionaires don't pick their own noses, that's just absurd, instead Tiger goes the classy route by wiping his nose with a towel. I assume he chucked  it at the caddy afterwards who is clearly disgusted. But who cares, TIGER WOODS IS A SUPERSTAR. Know your place, Tiger Woods does, and that's why he wipes his nose with a towel and you pick up the snot rag after him.

On that note, Merry Christmas everyone! May your days be merry and your nostrils clear!


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