Tuesday, July 20, 2010

World Cup Final

sorry for lack of updates, I've lost a bit of passion, so here are 2 nose picks from the World Cup Final. Enjoy.

Friday, July 9, 2010

The horror of a tissue in hand

During this World Cup we really have seen some incredible stuff on the nose-picking front but never have I seen someone respond to what was going on with the rampant nose-picking. I suppose though, there is a first for everything.
Here we see the German coaching staff, and as we know the German Manager is fully capable of picking his nose, but is that what we are focusing on? Is that a tissue in the middle coaches hand? What is this madness? He's not going to actual blow his nose like a civilized human being?

Oh God he did, it makes me sick to my stomach! This man must have seen me featuring Joachim Low and responded by choosing not to pick his nose. He blew it exactly when the camera went to him which makes me feel like this was staged. I'm not a fan of conspiracy theories as you loyal readers know, but this is absurd. Having the tissue ready in his hand and right when the camera pans to him, he blows his nose seems like a strange series of events. Not pick, but blow! Oh what is going on in this world that athletes and coaches must make a point to NOT pick their noses and simply blow their noses into tissues? If this catches on I'll be out of business, I can't stand for this. Athletes: Continue picking your nose, do not follow this man. Clearly there is something to picking noses as the Netherlands went on to the final and Germany didn't. You may tell me I don't understand the basic concepts of causation and correlation, but I'll tell you that, whatever, I don't need school.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

The Dutch.Brazilian World Cup Nose Pick Extravaganza Part 3: The lone picker

Here at APTN, we respect players who exhibit courage in the face of adversity. When faced with the sheer onslaught of Dutch nose picking, Brazil's Dani Alves refused to take it sitting down. At every moment where he had the stage (corner kicks, free kicks, etc) Alves picked his nose with the best of them, throwing in a bit of a snot rocket for good measure. It's clear he was committed to the philosophy behind soccer and nose-picking, it's just unfortunate to see such an effort come up short due to his teammates apparent apathy for the game and nostril cleanliness. It was an honor to witness this one man performance, and I look forward to his efforts in the future.

And once again, don't forget to follow us at http://twitter.com/THE_REAL_APTN for 140 characters of nose-picking, link-whoring, athlete-pandering bliss

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The Dutch.Brazilian World Cup Nose Pick Extravaganza Part. 2: The value of a team that picks together

There's not much to add to this post. It's just good to see a team acting as one, Everyone is in on this, Kuyt, Van Persie, De Jong, Sneijder, the coaches. This team is destined for greatness (subject to editing after the game today) because of this togetherness you rarely see. Most players consider nose-picking a solitary pursuit, but the Netherlands scoffs at that ridiculous notion and collectively pursue the picking of the neus. It was a majestic and noble scene

Monday, July 5, 2010

The Dutch.Brazilian World Cup Nose Pick Extravaganza Part. 1: The coaches

The Netherlands Coaches were not only wearing the same playboy suits (with the top button unbuttoned of course) they also were picking their noses in the same scene as well. Success in team sports is really all about buying into the same philosophy and executing the plan. The coaches bought into camaraderie, as one coach picked his nose the other one followed suit. Clearly this togetherness and belief in team was what spurred them to victory over Brazil, because as we'll will see in Parts 2 and 3, The Netherlands as a team committed to the culture of nose-picking while Dani Alves was the only one clearing the channels on the Brazilian side. It's really an impressive thing to watch when an entire team seems to act as one entity playing soccer and picking their noses. I think it's clear to see that the Netherlands are the favorites for the rest of the tournament.

Friday, July 2, 2010

World Cup Coverage continued: The calm before the storm

It must be allergy season in South Africa, because today the Brazilians and Dutch were picking their noses non-stop. This, however, was from the Brazil.Chile game as Nilmar (in convenient Brazilian one word form) takes time from the game to do a little house cleaning. Following this game, he did not even enter the game against Netherlands. I don't want to say conspiracy or anything but I find it odd that after this nose pick, he was not used as a substitute. Could be a coincidence or just strategy but it just doesn't sit well personally.

This is just a preview for the nose-picking extravaganza that is to come. so I recommend sitting at your computer and repeatedly refreshing, because it's the only way to stay with the times by the second.

Remember, check out twitter.com/THE_REAL_APTN for all the updates  and whoring in 140 characters or less

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Controversy in Cleveland

I posted a picture the other day of Sportscenter showing Brian Shaw picking his nose when reporting that he may have the Cavs job lined up. It comes as no surprise to me that he eventually did not get the job. It sickens me that ESPN would sink this low, actively messing with a man's life. ESPN still has not manned up and commented on the scandal but I will be waiting and asking the tough questions. What does ESPN have against Brian Shaw? Do they feel responsible? Should ESPN subscribe to a higher standard of ethics when reporting the news or is this schmuckery acceptable when trying to get ratings? Hopefully these questions will be answered soon.

 I mean how could ESPN show something like that during a pivotal time in Shaw's life. (I posted the picture below again if you don't remember the levels ESPN sunk to for ratings) It's really disgusting what ESPN did.

Also check out the new twitter account, http://twitter.com/THE_REAL_APTN, for up to the minute updates and pandering for traffic in convenient twitter form